Journey to Poland log.1
Throw a stone at a calm river, a ripple start. Throw a rock at a calm sea, you might just create a tsunami. Each has its own beauty.
Was never the type to sit around and wait. Was naturally curious and fascinated by everything. Nature, people, the wonder of life and how all that we know goes on a preordained path. Didn’t know back then; nor do I know, what it means to be and feel alive. Being alive and feeling alive is subjective and I firmly believe it to be different. One has emotion, and the other is just what it is.
For a long time, I just wanted to explore. Woke up without agenda, went about my days and when the time came to sleep, just went to sleep. Though, not knowing what the next day would bring forth can make it difficult to fall asleep. Uhh...the wondrous mind. I was Intoxicated by the mystery; like an overdosed drug addict. Curiosity was my dear friend, and consequences were my enemy. We embraced the warmth, laughed at everything on our path while decoding the mysteriousness life brought.
Peer pressure had something to do with some of the stupid, stupid things that I have had done with my friend, but it was worth it. It was, nice! Technology didn’t catch up to my neck of the woods. Found ways to be and do things that made no sense to adults. None of the “smart” things had kept my mind occupied. My friends and I invented fun thing things to fill our time. We thought our youth was endless. Mundane was never in question. Well, if anyone had asked us what was mundane, we would have had a question or two for what it meant.
In the blink of an eye, each one of us seemed to become a "grown-up." I thought it was a disease. Friends whom I had run around became adult all of a sudden with tremendous responsibilities and little to no time to hang out us "young-lings."
Why am I reminiscing my past all of a sudden?
Flew through the Logan airport security. Didn't sleep at all. Contemplated and took extra time to pack. It had to be "just what I needed" kind of thing. And if I had forgotten something, which it wouldn't be, I made sure to squeeze into my carry-on and my backpack. I had answered every question before I left my house.
What I can bring, and it would fit in my bag and Carry-On?
Which Gadgets are coming along? Staying? Might be useful?
Which toiletries do I need? Day and Night time?
Before I went insane and hail mary everything in a backpack and a carry, I asked my family to buy me buy packing cubes. If science says it is the best way to pack, by heavens, it will have to be for me as well! Every time I packed, I did a quick google search of the places I would be staying. I made sure that I am well prepared and over prepared for the weather. I am freaking going to POLAND!
Excitement and fear, all meshed into one!
Excited for visiting a country for as long as I have planned. Feared of the endless possibilities. I mean, each of the Taken movies showed the ugly, ugly truth of traveling abroad. If only I had Liam Neeson as my dad! I would be okay knowing my dad would kick their ass.
The fear of traveling alone to a place that I never been had made me pause and rethink many times. I found myself getting lost in the process each time I thought of all the things I would do and wouldn't do. Part of me wished to befriend the inner kid that always, did his best. He was stupidly smart, made decisions without expectations, and chose fun and excitement without hesitations. It would have made the entire worry process, less. As an “adult,” I have unwanted responsibilities. I have a sense of self that feeds on emotions and brings unwanted instant gratification. I oppose and detest “instant gratification.” I compare it to a lightning strike. Instantly it appears and disappears.
As I sit here, outside my gate to board my longest flight, I am thinking of the outcome. I do not know what the result of this trip will be for me. If I seek out an outcome, I will have to create a path, a goal to get me there. I want it to, happen. Just like when I wake up every morning with the purpose to see what the rest of the day will bring.
Never visited, had a layover, or "right off the bat" know where Poland is on a map. Poland remained a mystery to me. Aside from the weather prediction of the two locations that I will be staying, I didn't research about the country. I lied. Back in history class, movies and what people had told me, that's all I know. Bad things, horrible things had happened to that country in the past. Can't seem to get rid of the qualm of my sudden urge and curiosity.
Like everyone, my tourist persona took over me after I booked the flight. I craved and wanted to research what everyone goes to see and experience. It was searching for some rational explanation to find a reason why I booked it in the first place. If I did research and know, then my mind would be at ease. Then I wondered why I wanted to see and experience it in the first place. A lot of conflicting emotion had risen since the day I booked to this point. I came up with multiple conclusion but one stuck out the most. Simply put, I want to find, me.
Ted Talks, books and wise people have told me not to seek out, but to seek within. I know why I am anxious and afraid of what I will find, but I am excited. In few words, I can't explain or grasp the emotions that are inside of me right now. Physically, my stomach turns when I think of the notion to travel. Even more, alone.
A few years ago, I had to travel back to the States by myself. I didn't like one bit. I had a terrible time flying solo. Every second, my mind was occupied with the thought of not getting lost or in any trouble. I had strict procedures. I was to board the scheduled flight, stay by my gate and not F**k things up. But this is this different. I chose to be in a country for 10 days by myself. Everything is up to me.
If I were to play the game “Never Have I ever,” this would be it.
My flight was as followed: Boston -> Amsterdam -> Krakow. One layover, in Amsterdam, for an hour. Same as coming back. I could have chosen other flights with a more extended delay, but I didn't want to complicate things. Again, I faced my adult self and made it as simple. I just wanted to plow through my jet lag or whatever problem I was going to meet all in one go. Besides, an hour is ample amount of time to go from one terminal to the next. All I have to worry about is the flight from Boston to Amsterdam. Having a dark mindset, I remembered to bid my farewell to everyone in a subtle way. If anything were to happen, at least it would happen to me en route to Poland.
No REGERTS! Right? Stupid Twix commercial! I would love to have the left Twix right about now.
Slowly, the seats are filling up. Time couldn't be any slower. Hour left till boarding. I decided to sit near the door, hoping to enter before everyone. I haven’t traveled via plane for a while. Whatever conventional process I was supposed to follow, the heck with it! I am going based on what I think. Each passing moment, anxious-meter is reaching its peak. Time was trickling down ever so slowly. Announcers kept announcing to board other terminals...Yes, I knew what time I was supposed to board. My mind, my body...I just wanted to board the plane and fall asleep.
I left early not to have any traffic jams yet just in the nick of time to board the aircraft. Sure enough, no traffic jams just to face this nightmare! What to do...what to do. Figure out something to do to pass the time. Maybe talking to fellow travelers would give me an insight. Who should I talk to and not make it awkward?
Aha...A game show host where I have to pick the mystery box...
AND Now...
First choice...Her fashion sense and inspiration comes from "All Black everything!" She is wearing headphones and hoodie. Could be heading to a remote location to initiate a cult. Introducing, the Emo-Girl!
Second choice…She could be a fairy princess or a model. Tall, blonde wearing mini skirt. Ohhh…she has a ring on her finger. Introducing, the married blondie!
Third choice…this old fella has probably seen and done everything. Tall, wrinkly, enough hair on top of his head, possibly sleep on you in the middle of his stories. Introducing, “Who else but grandpa!”
Fourth choice…this old couple…
Ohh what the heck…
Me: Where are you guys heading to?
Couple #1: England. To see football games. You seem nervous. Where are you heading to?
Me: To Poland. My first time traveling to a country that I never been. Heading to unfamiliar territory. Ha-ha..(they could smell my nervous ticks).
They seem to be busy trying to get a hold of their teenage daughter on the phone. Putting their foot down early before she starts throwing parties. (Mental **HIGH FIVE** to the teenager)
Right across from me, another couple was ruffling through their purse and bags. They seem to be nervous as I was. Finally, the woman took out a book. Before she opened it
Me: And where are you guys heading to?
Couple #2: We are going to Tanzania! Bunch of our friends has invited us to a safari!
Me: That sounds like a blast! I hope to do that someday, but first I must make this trip successful!
Couple #2: Sounds fun! At least you didn’t have to take all the shots, go to doctors, and make sure your visa is approved. You will be fine!
Boarding call...
I immediately got up just to realize that they are announcing the seating arrangement based on priority and "special" customers. The heck and the line seemed long! Casually, I sat down. I am going to pretend that I did it on purpose, just stretching my legs.
Day 0(log1): Boston Logan airport
